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Thursday, February 27, 2014

How We Can Best Support Ourselves and One Another

When I start thinking about some of our basic human emotional needs 2 things stand out to me right away,
praise and love. They are things that will serve us very well in life when we can learn to truly love and praise and honor ourselves. So often we don't recognize our own self worth, feeling like it is conceited or self indulgent to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back. But it is neither of those things. Loving and honoring yourself is an important part of being a complete individual and they are things you deserve to provide for yourself. On my Facebook page every Wednesday I post that it is Share A Win Wednesday. My intention is that it serves as a reminder for us all to celebrate the wins in our lives, NO MATTER THE SIZE! We oftentimes downplay our successes, feeling that they have to be of a certain shape and size to be considered as such. But I don't believe any win is too small to share and to be excited about.

Sharing things in this way with our friends, family, spouses, loved ones, children, etc. can help us to get into the habit of focusing on the good things we do. It helps to turn our cheek away from the mindset of "I am not enough" or of feeling like the things we do aren't good enough to honor and celebrate. And when we do celebrate these things we are giving ourselves much deserved self love. But alas, even as much as we can love and honor ourselves, there is still going to be a desire for love and acknowledgement from those around us. And while I do not believe that outside sources are the only or even the best place to fulfill these things within ourselves, I do believe that when we are able to give them to ourselves we are in a much better position to receive them from others. And let's face it, it feels good! It feels good to be told we did a great job, or that someone admires our choices, or that someone just thinks the world of us.

Which brings me to the flip side of sharing our own wins with others. I think it is a fantastic habit to get into to honor and praise and share in the wins of others. We don't hesitate to complain when someone does something we don't like, it's almost second nature. But for some reason we are much less likely to give a compliment or praise someone else. And I start to think about how nice it would be if THAT was the norm instead of the constant acknowledgment of what is not "right" in our eyes. Because as we are almost socialized to look for what's wrong in people and things and in life, those become the ways in which we give our love and support to others, as a result of what is "wrong" in their life. If someone is going through a sickness or a tragedy or a hardship we know that we need to give them love and support. But why don't we give that love and support for the good things too?

We go out of our way to "be there" and support someone when they lose their job but why do we not go to those lengths or greater when they get hired in a fantastic new job?? When we spend more time giving our love away in response to the bad things in life we create a culture of victimhood. Of people needing to argue for their hardships in order to get the love and support they need. I am in no way saying that we should not love and support people through the tough times, rather I am suggesting that we love and support each other through ALL times, through the good and the great times too. We need to love and support each other always, through the easy times too so we don't need to create or stay in hardship just to receive and feel love. So let me send some love out there to all of you. Because I know today or yesterday or the day before you did something great. Even if it was just smiling at a stranger. And further sharing that win with someone could brighten their day and in return give them a chance to love you for the wonderful person you are.

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1 comment:

  1. Excellent blog post. I'd hate to imagine how much time I've spent in the past focusing on what's wrong. This is a great reminder to shift my thinking and shift my focus. Thanks, Heather!