Wow I am overdue for a blog!!
So I have recently had the rug pulled out from under me. It happens to us in life. A lot I suppose. And I didn't handle it very healthily. And I have been sleeping LONG hours and generally feeling completely ungrounded and just pretty damn "tweaked." (great description for how I am feeling, heard my sis in law say it this weekend and am stealing it!) :)
And at least now in the fog I know that there is a lesson here that I am to learn. Maybe something I have been starting to learn but have not quite gotten there yet. So I do my best to stand up and open my heart to God and to the Universe, so that I can hear of what I am to be taught. And the other night laying in bed, not even feeling comfortable in my own skin, I got up to turn off the computer. And I hadn't read a Daily Love recently enough (which I find SO INCREDIBLY HELPFUL!) so I checked my email real quickly and the subject line of one caught my eye, "If you want it all, learn to get comfy with uncertainty."
So I read it and BAM I realized what it was I needed to be working on. It's whatever brought me to the desire to meditate, and to help break me of the awful habit of thinking myself into oblivion. That I NEED to be OK sitting smack in the middle of uncertainty and what I view to be chaos. Maybe what I think is "chaos" is merely a shift to something bigger and better. Maybe on the path to what we truly deserve and desire we need to break from time to time in order to be new to receive what is new to us.
I am by no means claiming that I "get it now," that I am there. But I do feel a little better. I know through my faith that I am being spoken to and that I need to use the tools I have been taught to calm myself, not be a victim to anxiety, to know there is a plan for me and that I am right were I am meant to be.And again today, I must share another incredible Daily Love blog because it's telling me again what I have stated above. http://thedailylove.com/ for June 25. I am guessing this is one of the hardest lessons in life and one we will need to be repeatedly reminded of. I hope this resonates with others out there too. xo H